Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
