Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
