Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
your like the ambassador to my penis.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
