i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
