In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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