you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
