my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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