how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
