discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
you had me at cake vodka
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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