omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize