Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
