Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
