i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
