Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
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