if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
