That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
