You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
