I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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