I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
