dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
