he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
