I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
