Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
