grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
