You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
