apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
