And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
