I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
