you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
