I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
