Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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