maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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