So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
