i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
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