The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
