I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
