Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
