we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
