he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
