Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
