the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
