did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Randomize
