There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
