i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
