I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize