Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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