hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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