He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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