Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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