He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
