Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
my penis made a compromise with my morals
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
