I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just found a bag of teeth...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
