we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
