if you like me you must not know who I am
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
