I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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